I wasn't sure I'd blog about this after alluding to it in my most recent "Week in Instagram" post, but this story was meant to be shared. So pardon me while I drive this car into the Land of Overshare; I promise I won't get too gory.
Actually, it's not really an overshare. I'm quite open about the fact that I take the birth control pill. I mean, I don't walk around telling everyone, but it's not something I actively hide or feel ashamed about, either. In the 14 years since I first started it as an 18-year-old, I've been unembarrassed to admit it--hormones are funky and different for everyone, and sometimes you just need some regulation, right?
Anyway, a little over a year ago, I wanted to get back on the Pill after a no-healthcare-induced hiatus, so off to my local Planned Parenthood I went for an exam and to answer the many questions that come with wanting to start any new medication. In all of my years with Kaiser, I always took a generic brand called Sprintec, but PP put me on Ortho Cyclen.
Because at that time I was still about 40 pounds overweight, my blood pressure was sometimes a bit high, so PP put me on a monitoring program where I come in every three months to get it checked before they give me my refill of pills. It's kind of a pain, but I appreciate them taking such great care of my overall health. However, we've had to switch up my pills a few times now because the Ortho Cyclen was causing me to sweat at night for those last few days before my period would start. It's not pretty waking up drenched in sweat at three o'clock in the morning, and it's certainly not comfortable, either. The nurse practitioner agreed, so I was given Ortho Tri-Cyclen.
This one was better; I still had some sweating at night in the days leading up to my period, but not as bad. Then, around Thanksgiving, a new problem presented itself: spotting. Ugh!!
In December, I mentioned this to the nurse and she agreed that this was not good--she looked at my chart and said, "Someone put you on the lowest estrogen dose! Heh. That means if you don't take it at exactly the same time every day, it loses its effectiveness."
Oy. I'd been sleeping in a lot over Thanksgiving, so that threw off the schedule a bit. We agreed that the next dose up, a slightly higher shot of estrogen, would be just the thing for me. I was given three months' worth, assurances that my blood pressure is firmly in the good zone (yay!!!), and sent on my merry way. A week or so later, I started this new round of Ortho Tri-Cyclen.
All of this back story leads up to about four days ago, when I found myself in a funk. I mean, a rotten, no-good, black-cloud-hovering-over-my-head funk of large proportions. I'm not exaggerating, I was feeling pretty much like the whole world could go to hell and I wouldn't mind.
I did the math, took a peek at my little pink pill container, and had that "Aha!" moment. I was a week out from my period and that, my friends, explains the bad mood. Good ole Pre-Menstrual Syndrome.
Thing is, I've always had PMS. Whether I'm on Sprintec, Ortho Cyclen, Ortho Tri-Cyclen, or no Pill at all, I have always had the same symptoms: crankiness, headaches, general lethargy and a distressing desire to gnaw on the walls because I'm constantly hungry. I'm the stereotype--moody, hungry, craving chocolate. What I'm not--usually--is a lunatic.
But Thursday rolled in, and I was mad at the whole world. Mom and Dad were so unreasonable, asking me to pick Mom up at the dentist's office. Gah! Now my day is all ruined, I won't get anything done. None of my friends could possibly understand how bad I was feeling, my blog was suddenly the stupidest thing ever, and if Millie had stuck her wet nose against my arm one more time while I was trying to type on the computer, I was going to have a hissy fit. To top it all off, I gained about twenty pounds in bloat and...oh, crap, a pimple? Really, universe?
In other words, I'd reverted to thirteen-year-old Meg. I wasn't liking myself too much.
It all came to a head on Friday, when I went to the gym for a good workout.
I was still feeling tired and cranky, but the gym usually cheers me up. The kids who work the front desk always greet me with a smile, and often by name. I waved and got a cheery "Good morning!" from Matt the Reasonable. The locker room was quiet for a change.
Then it all went to hell.
I set off looking for a foam roller; I could only find one, and it was being used by a man who was doing sit-ups on an exercise ball. He was using the roller as a foot rest.
A foot rest.
On a normal day, I'd take it in stride and wait, but Friday was hardly normal. I started with polite inquiry. "Excuse me, are you almost done with the foam roller?"
"Oh, I've got another set to do, and I really need it."
I think steam started coming out of my ears. "But it's for massaging muscles."
"I need it for my feet." He was smiling. I was not.
I gave him a look, then mumbled, "It's not a foot rest."
So I stood there and waited, crossing my arms and rolling my eyes. Normally I'd just wander off and find something else to do, but this moron was getting in my way. My quads were tight and he was using the only damned foam roller for a foot rest?!
After about two minutes, I huffed out the best dramatic teenager sigh I could muster, rolled my eyes again, and muttered just loud enough for the guy to hear, "Fine, I guess I just won't foam roll today. So much for running sprints. Ugh!" before turning on my heel and stomping away with tears springing to my eyes.
Okay, people, let's just stop for a sec. I've been told I'm fiery, but I am not an asshole.
By the time I got to the cardio equipment, I was fighting to keep from crying, still feeling irrationally angry over a cylindrical piece of foam, and also feeling like a ginormous loser for being so emotional about...foam.
As I got started on the Stair Master, I realized that something was not quite normal. As I said, I've always had PMS symptoms, but I have never been so irrational and unreasonable as I was on Thursday and Friday. The back-and-forth between wanting to cry, getting angry over stuff that normally does not bother me, and feeling just fine was like riding a roller coaster--motion sickness was starting to settle in.
The good news is, I'm feeling more even-keeled now. I spent today cleaning my room, organizing my work space, and getting a lot of busy work finished, which makes me feel more in control of my universe. I'm 90% sure that my moodiness of the last few days is entirely related to being on a new type of pill (I'd also dearly love to not feel this bloated--it's physically uncomfortable). We'll see how next month goes, but chances are I'm going to find myself back and Planned Parenthood in two months, begging for yet another new type of birth control pill.
Because honestly, the world doesn't need Meg Hyde having a meltdown in the gym.
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